Deepcut Gems Issue 4: Goodbye to all that*

*Ben Affleck’s huge cutout of now ex-girlfriend Ana de Armas

See below for some pop culture news you probably can’t use.

  • Some “leaked” dms (which have been declared fake news by some) made waves this week. The alleged dms in question were “sent from” old-money-pretty-boy-cum-prolific-actor Armie Hammer, and they came to suggest that he is a “cannibal.” More women came forward with some pretty disturbing dms from Mr. Hammer, which detailed his sexual proclivities and potentially abusive behaviors. An ex-girlfriend, in an exclusive to Page Six, said Mr. Hammer once wanted to “barbecue her rib and eat her.” Mr. Hammer in a statement declared the direct messages to be “bullshit claims,” and also said that he would be stepping away from filming an upcoming rom-com co-starring J. Lo.

  • A UK woman claimed that a candle called “This Smells Like My Vagina” from the brain of Gwyneth Paltrow and her wellness website Goop, exploded in her home. You can purchase this firestarter for the low price of $75.

  • Bruce Willis was asked to leave a RiteAid after refusing to wear a mask. Strangely, Mr. Willis was wearing a bandana around his neck, which, to the normal person, could have simply been pulled up. In an exclusive statement to People, he said the whole debacle was, “an error in judgement.” 

  • Twitter exploded with the news that a “Sex & the City” reboot is on the way for HBOMax subscribers. Notably absent in the trailer is Kim Cattrall, who played the sex-positive rabble-rouser, Samantha Jones. Many have hypothesized the reason(s) for Ms. Cattrall's absence as the result of a long-going feud with Ms. Sarah Jessica Parker. 

  • Lana Del Rey has been getting bad press recently; whether it was her comments on feminism, her former relationship with “Live PD” star, Sgt. Sean “Sticks” Larkin, or her wearing of a mesh mask during a pandemic. Her new album rollout has been called “a disaster.” 

  • Ben Affleck, whose deeply affecting photographs of himself smoking cigarettes and drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee despondently have captured our collective melancholy, has broken up with Oscar nominee Ana de Armas. Throughout quarantine, photos of the couple on quarantine walks have delighted and charmed the masses, and it seems that Mr. Affleck’s sad sack persona was flipped upside down while dating the uber-talented actress. When the news was announced they called it quits, a huge cardboard cutout of Ms. de Armas was seen being thrown into the trash just outside Mr. Affleck’s home.