Deepcut Gems Issue 2: The Semiotics of Hilaria Baldwin

New Years, in a normal year, tends to inspire grand delusions of what blissful puritanism can do to our bodies. Most give up carbs, caffeine, or alcohol, others commit to less spending or “working out.” After a season of merrily wrecking our earthly vessels, back to basics seems not just rewarding, but for many, essential. 

This year is obviously not that. So my resolutions will ultimately look different. This year is simple: to not practice mindfulness. What cruel masochistic behavior would that be?! Wishing to stay present in this moment? No thanks!

I aim to devote my time to endless, anesthetizing scrolling, devouring celebrity garbage, and simply waiting out time until I can do all the same - but vaccinated. Dissociation via Page Six forever!

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The Hilaria Baldwin drama of late 2020 has been my rock. It included rousing performances by Alec Baldwin, his daughter Ireland Basinger Baldwin, and his wife Hilaria Thomas-Baldwin. If you’re not familiar, there’s boundless literature on the subject, so incredibly Shakespearean that it even got a treatment in The Times

But for those of you who want a TL;DR:

A Twitter user tweeted out a thread calling out “Hilaria Baldwin’s decades long grift of impersonating a Spanish person.” She includes damning evidence: that being a video of the svelte yogi, who has often touted her Spanish-ness in the name of brand continuity, struggling for the word “cucumber” in English - and in elegant succession, another video of Hilaria speaking in a decidedly American accent, in a most Kardashian vein. Upon further investigation (obituaries were unearthed) it was revealed that Hilaria, actually born “Hilary” (which, close enough) was born in Boston - not in Spain - and has zero Spanish heritage. Her parents retired there. What a ride. 

Twitter, as it does, exploded with claims of cultural appropriation, humor, and more. I have nothing exciting to add to the conversation other than a humble “thank you” for this news cycle. 

Watch 

Listen  

This is deliciously auto-tuned ear candy from the popular songstress who has covered Ms. Heap in the past. Did you know that “goodnight n go” from Ariana’s finest album “Sweetener” was essentially a cover of, (or a very large sample of ?) Imogen Heap’s “Goodnight & Go?”